Teen exposes realities of modern cave-life

The Paleo Challenge began Monday with 25 Challengers (five Category A, twenty Category B). We also have a couple guest participants from CrossFit Paradiso — Lauren & Camille! My own sister is also participating in the Challenge. Some of you have met Kalawai and might think she’s got a leg up on the Challenge living with Darek & I, but she’s here to set the record straight. Two days into the Challenge, she decided to write about her experience. Be sure to encourage each other and talk up your paleoneering experiences and get the most out of the next few weeks!

Camping: great time to be paleo Remy, you bring nuts and berries and sardines: bear's favorite food.

Hy name is Kalawai. I’m Remy’s younger sister and two-time almost-CFSB OnRamp student. I’m 17 years old and I live with Remy and Darek.

I’m sure many of you CrossFitters would be happy to live with Remy’s awesome cooking all the time and I am too, but I’m a teenager. I like to stay home on the weekend, pig out on chips, soda, and sandwiches. When I started living with Remy and Darek I knew that wasn’t going to fly. It was World War III getting hamburger buns that ONE and only time.

When me and my sister Daisy moved here, we were quite ‘round’ I guess you could say. I think Remy probably saw us as her own home experiment and now we’ve both lost about 30 pounds just by her yummy food. After a couple months here the topic came up about getting a pet. When I suggested a cute fluffy one (a cat… a dog?), Remy and Darek were thinking more of an edible one.  A chicken. We had a guinea pig for a little bit and every time I came home from school I was afraid Remy got really hungry and cooked poor little Marci.

Trying new things is an issue for me. Unfortunately almost every night I have to try new things. I used to be disgusted at the thought of kale, until I tried it but now I would eat it every day if I could! And eating a whole avocado like an apple, what’s up with that? I tried it…YUMMM! One thing she will no way get me to eat are sardines. I have a very tough time believing Remy when she says she has convinced more then a cat to eat those nasty things. Not trying to be dramatic, but I would rather eat Paleo for a year then eat sardines. Then again, that’s how I felt about kale, so we’ll see how it goes.

Kale: My crack

Remy and I grew up eating very differently then the way I do now. We grew up eating Top Ramen, white rice, Chicken-In-A-Biscuit crackers, and a whole lot of King’s Hawaiian sweet rolls (god that sounds good). As you can see my cravings are already kicking in on the second day of the Paleo Challenge. Sometimes I get excited when Remy says she’s making dessert before I realize that it doesn’t mean an ice cream sundae like most people; we have coconut milk shakes with frozen berries or dark chocolate.

Another rather peculiar aspect of living with modern cavepeople is our kitchen. When you look in our cupboards we have two cupboards just for spices and oils (not to mention the entire top of the fridge), and one just for coconut milk and what do ya know…sardines, ew. Every Thursday morning Remy wakes up early and we walk down to the Redondo farmers market. Most people carry bags full of peaches and nectarines but ours are berries and ‘DLG’s (just found out that means dark leafy greens two seconds ago).  After eating Paleo and Darek doing his elimination diet, his psoriasis is barley noticeable and Remy’s IBS has pretty much cleared away.

Now to our garbage can (since I usually take out the garbage).  All there is in our garbage can is eggshells, fruit rinds, bad cilantro leaves, a couple red cabbage leaves, onion skins, and bacon wrappers and animal bones. It doesn’t smell for a while but when it does it’s warm and smells like a fruit orchard gone rancid.  We used to have a compost system with some worms that we fed, but that failed quickly as Remy killed them by feeding them citrus peels.

Christmas treats from Maui. Sugar in the house?! It really was a Christmas miracle.

I’m sure many of you have heard about Remy and Darek’s plan to start a CrossFit farm with veggies, fruits, animals, and barbells. I’m excited for this dream to come to life ’cause I want goats! If they wont have a baby for me to play with now, I request goats. Maybe this farm will actually have a TV. Yep that’s right, no TV in this house. We own one; it’s plugged in, but no cable it’s pure torture. MTV and VH1 was my life before I came here. Now the TV is a living room decoration.

When my friends come over and they look in our fridge all they see are vegetables and meat wrapped up in plastic bags. They think we store body parts or something in there. They lift the top of the gallon tub to find not ice cream or cookie dough, but coconut oil. They look at me like ‘THIS is all you have?!’ Then I offer them coconut milk but they were thinking more along the lines of pretzels. But they love the smell of our house because its smells like Thanksgiving and heaven combined in one all the time. When I see my boyfriend, I go to hug him and the first thing he notices before he sees my new shirt, is my smell. He pretty much smells bacon and chicken in my hair 24/7.

I passed my driver’s test. As a reward, for every hour of driving I log driving with Remy & Darek for my permit, I get to have to have an hour of nutrition lessons by the one (pause), the only (pause), Remy Olson! The excitement of driving has decreased a bit. But I can tell you this: I will not be going anywhere far anytime soon.

The fridge...

Remy has me trained, actually whipped. This is a frequent conversation we have:

Kala: Whoa! Dinner is so colorful tonight!
Remy: Kala, what’s that mean again?
Kala: VITAMIIINNNS!
Remy: The more colors the better! I’ve taught you well.

In the nine months I’ve lived with Remy and Darek, I have learned a lot though. Sometimes I didn’t even have to ask for an hour-long lesson on the importance of eating  ‘DLG’s. It happens whether I want to hear it or not. Our dinner topics are often about a podcast Remy listened to with Robb Wolf, today’s WOD and a new recipe she’s dying to try out.  I can probably say that I know a lot more about healthy eating and lifestyles because of her and I love it!

PS: Dangle a spoonful of Laura Scudder’s chunky peanut butter in front of her and she will go weak at the knees (we don’t keep such things in the house). Use this information wisely.  NOT PALEO! BUSTEDDD! Remy is not perfect people, but she is my sister.

Workout of the Day 8/18/10

A. Hang Squat Snatch 3-3-3

Strict Toes to bar 8-8-8

Perform toes to bar between rounds of snatches.

B. 50-40-30-20-10
Wall Ball
Double Unders