Disclaimer: I have been getting a ton of questions about this topic from both inside and outside the gym, from lots of different people, so this isn’t directed at anyone in particular. Although, if this topic resonates with you, take the time to read it. This post is more a psychological and analytical approach to body image, Sean has the scientific approach in the comments. Lastly, this applies to any weightlifting regimen, not just CrossFit.
One of the most difficult things to fight as a coach is the thought that “Lifting weights is going to make me ‘bulk up’” from women. My first response is to shake my head and contemplate shoving my hand in a toaster to cure the frustration… Yet, when I stop and think about it, I honestly like the way CrossFit makes my body look. And I know there are many of us in the gym that wouldn’t be as enamored with CrossFit if we didn’t see aesthetic results in combination with fitness results, so I do think it is a valuable question that needs to be answered.
The first thing you need to do is look around the gym at girls that have been CrossFitting for a long time. If we created “bulky bodies”, you would see them at CFSB. All the above are CrossFitters that have been with us a long time… Strong, not bulky, don’t you agree?? (Sorry for not including all our awesome girls, but I only went back three pages on flickr).
Definitions and Misconceptions:
To begin, we need to address some misconceptions about how the body works…
- You cannot “tone” a certain portion of your body. Your body will not lose fat in one spot at a time, it will only lose fat. Thus, you must reduce your overall body fat percentage to see results in the area you want. This is why the “ab-(insert attention-grabbing verb)” you see on TV won’t work to help you get a better midsection.
- Lean – having little to no surplus fat - Thus, to look “lean”, you need to have low levels of body fat.
- Toned – seeing muscle definition on a human body - Thus, to look “toned”, you need to have low levels of body fat combined with having enough muscular development that you can see the shape of the muscle under the skin. This is usually accomplished at below 20% body fat on women, and below 10% on men.
- You will never “bulk up” overnight, except from maybe an ice cream and beer binge (guilty). You will never wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and realize that you just built bulky muscles in your sleep.
First, I want to establish that having muscle doesn’t mean being bulky…
The first thing you need to do is compare these two women:
For reference, the girl on the left is a runway model and the girl on the right is an elite CrossFit athlete. Both have approximately 12-15% body fat. Both are doing something they love, and the bodies they have created help them do that.
On the left, we have a runway model who has almost zero muscular development while also having almost zero fat deposits. She has enough essential muscle to not fall over walking, but not much more. If you want to look like the woman on the left, sorry, but we cannot help you get there. Although, if you have an apple and a cigarette a day for about a year, you could get close (it supposedly worked for Christian Bale in the Machinist). However, CrossFit South Bay will not help you create that type of body.
The female on the right has spent years developing her strength and muscle. She has battled heavy weights and pushed herself to the limit to squat, deadlift, and lunge heavier weights every time she comes into the gym. She weighs approximately 35-40 lbs more than the runway model due to the large amount of muscle that she has acquired. She is likely approaching her genetic limits in the amount of muscle she can develop without going on a bodybuilding routine. Between her and the runway model, there is likely very little difference genetically, yet there is a huge difference in training and diet (more on this shortly).
Same elite CrossFitter, now dressed up, still bulky??
Thus, you can have a large amount of muscle without ever looking “bulky”. Don’t you agree??
Now that we know that muscle doesn’t make you “bulky”, what does??
Well, the answer is fat. Excess adipose tissue will result in less than satisfactory aesthetics. This is regardless of the amount of muscle you have. This is easily seen in the image below:
The image at left shows a female figure that has a large amount of fat, while having a very small amount of muscle. This is described in the fitness community as “skinny fat”. While not overly “bulky” she doesn’t have the aesthetics that most of us work so hard to attain. The woman in this image is likely at a level close to 30% body fat and likely has a similar amount of muscle as the runway model. So even though she may look fine wearing a sweater, it is a different story at the beach.
The trick is how to fix this. Well, option 1 is to eat less and do tons of cardio, surviving on a diet heavy with running and light on food, and you will end up looking more like the runway model above. Option 2 is to develop muscle to burn away the excess fat while doing cardio, resulting in looking more like the elite CrossFitter above.
Ok, so we have started to establish that building muscle isn’t a bad thing, right?? Yet, you are afraid that by squatting and deadlifting, you are making your legs and butt bigger, thus getting more “bulky”, correct??
Here is the kicker, the reason your legs (and shoulders and arms and back) are getting a little bigger is that you have now started to add some muscle to them. Now, that muscle will burn more calories, starting to help whittle away at the amount of fat you have on your body, even while you sleep. You now are able to achieve that “lean” and “toned” look, as your body fat levels have decreased, and your muscle is starting to show, giving the “toned” look.
Additionally, you cannot have a “toned” look without muscle. This is because that “toned” look that you are going for is the result of seeing muscle that is underneath a layer of fat. If you have too much body fat, it acts as a shielding layer. For those of us that require a visual, imagine your muscle as an apple sitting on a hard surface. Now cover the apple; what you cover it with is representative of your body fat. A wet paper towel=very low body fat. A dish towel = low body fat. A comforter = high body fat. As the covering gets thicker, it becomes harder to see the apple, which is exactly what happens as you gain body fat. Now, more muscle makes the object bigger, imagine the apple is now a grapefruit. Less muscle makes the object smaller, imagine changing the apple to a cherry. Even with all the objects being similar in size, it is the covering that determines how “bulky” they look; same with body fat.
Bad cardio and worse cardio…
Some people keep saying to be leaner they just need more cardio and less strength. Well, yes, if you just do “more cardio”, you will lose more fat, but you would also lose muscle because without anaerobic and strength training, your body burns muscle as well as fat. So, instead of looking more like a Victoria Secret model, you start to look more like a runway model. Then, once you stop doing “more cardio” you will gain fat even faster now that you don’t have the muscle to burn the extra calories, resulting in the “skinny fat” look. You can see this in ex-athletes that have tried to “get leaner” by doing “more cardio” only to result in having more fat with less muscle.
Skinny
vs
Strong
This can also happens as we age, as the muscle we built by running, jumping, and playing in our childhood and teens atrophies due to under-use with a more sedentary life, so people in their early twenties are seen as having “high metabolisms”, supposedly not having to work to maintain lean body shapes. This “high metabolism” is because the muscle they built in their teen years is burning excess calories and fat, and with the low body fat levels, you can see their “toned” muscle underneath. However, as they take day jobs and do not stimulate their bodies, their muscles atrophy, burning less calories and thereby lowering their “high metabolism” and leading to increased body fat as they age. Usually, people try to do “more cardio” to regain their lean, toned bodies that they had when they were younger. However, since they do nothing to build new muscle or maintain their current muscle, they slowly transition to a thin, but “skinny fat”, look as they age.
Train like an athlete…. Look like an athlete…
Most people can agree that they want to get “toned” and “lean”, but have you ever asked someone that was “toned” and “lean” what they have done to get that way?? You should, because almost every athlete I know that looks “toned” and “lean” has spent years working to develop strength, power, speed, endurance, and stamina for a sport. They move HEAVY weights quickly.
Lastly, you will never be able to create muscles like a man lifting weights.
A WOMEN THAT LOOKS LIKE SHE HAS MUSCLES LIKE A MAN HAS LIKELY TAKEN STEROIDS!! This is the defined truth, a woman’s muscle development is much different than a man’s. Unless a woman has a very different genetic make-up (a very, very small portion of the population), it is almost impossible to build muscle like a man. (And, as much as you might think it is true, you only have a 1 in a million chance of being the 1 in a million that has the different genetics, so stop saying, and believing, it)
This is because males have 20-30 times the testosterone of women, resulting in deeper voices, more body hair, and more muscle development. Women just physically cannot build muscle like men can, sorry but it is a scientific fact. Some of the maximal amounts of muscle you can put on a female frame with CrossFit training can be seen below. These are women that built their bodies using sports and strength training.
An extremely high level of muscle on a female will look like the pictures above, but again, only with many YEARS of weights training and a focus on a clean diet.
So, lastly, just to clarify, “bulky” means fat. Which does not happen when you work hard at CrossFit South Bay!!
Workout of the Day 5/9/2011
Deload Day 1 All workouts are untimed at low intensity. Concentrate on form and technique.
A. 4 rounds (untimed)
3 tire flips or partner tire flips
6 sledge hammer (each side)
10 kb clean and jerk (each side)
B. 2 Rounds (untimed)
The Big Wheel
Each exercise is performed for 3 repetitions. Alternate sit-up throws between these six exercises: 2-arm thrusts, L & R 1-arm thrusts, overheads, L & R rotations.
I cringe every time I hear or read women referred to as “girls,” which this article does throughout. It’s terrible. Please stop it. The women who do CrossFit are bad-ass WOMEN. The adults in your photos are women. Men understand that it’s a put-down to be called a boy. It’s what slave owners called black men and women boys and girls to demean them.
Please consider the power of words and the power of calling women women.
Great read. Thanks so much for clarifying this topic so well.
Some very interesting comments in here. Most so insightful and encouraging. I had to laugh at the one commenter who wanted proof about what was clearly a jest about the runway model only eating a apple and having a cigarette a day. What isn’t a joke is that we know she likely eats her self-alloted fat-free, sugar-free snackwells a day instead. *huge grin*
Also, just my 2 cents about the term ‘girl’. I’m a girl and happy to be one. I’m also a woman, a lady, a ma’am (I’m in TX-comes with the manners), a miss, a mother, a wife, a friend … The term ‘girl’ is only disrespectful if it is used to disrespect, as with anything.
This article is circling through my contacts and through my gym and already so many are feeling empowered by it.
Thanks again, Cody.
Nice article CRice. It will be shared around the gym.
“or does bodybuilding type workouts, specifically designed to increase the size of the muscles, it is almost impossible to build muscle like a man. ” Stares at author and says “Could you PLEASE point me in that direction? I really want the muscle building workout that puts on muscle so easily on a woman. It takes blood, sweat and tears to put on an inch of muscle on a woman like that. While the guy next to her is zooming ahead. I can row 90 pounds and the little teen twit who just hit that has more freakin muscles than I do. I’ve killed myself for an actual bicep when I flex. I am going “OOOH I have a bump.” The husband who does NOT work out curled his and he had a BICEP. I hate him. Yeah right.. Even if you bust your brains and muscles out actually trying to look like Arnie you will still look like Jillian. It is so pathetic to be so proud of my little bump… It looks like a pimple compared to husbands.
Great post! I have linked to it from our website in the hope that the athetics driven culture in Dubai has a read and gets CrossFitting!
Great read!!
@Kristina – To leave this article and only come away angry that the writer used a word you don’t prefer is missing the point…
@John,
I don’t think the phrase ‘skinny fat’ was aimed at any one person, but at a society that seems to value stick-thin women who get/remain that way at any cost. I train next to a globo gym full of women who look ‘fit’ in clothes but have a very high percentage of body fat when in shorts/sports bra. Not only is the quest to get this way mentally unhealthy, but obese is obese, whether 38% bodfat is in a size 2 of a size 16.
Also, my dad worked for Lord And Taylor in it’s heyday and trust me, most of those models aren’t even eating an apple a day;…and it’s more like 24 cigarettes and some blow to stay that thin.
I agree with most people here that if you get hung up with a word, or a phrase or grammatical errors, give it a rest. You’re missing the point of the article.
Great article. So many poeple have misconceptions of what being “fit” or “toned” is. Ladies…just a random man’s opinion…put some muscle on and be athletic! ABSOLUTELY LOVE ATHLETIC WOMEN!
This is an amazing article. I will be sharing it with all of my workout buddies! Thanks!!!
Hmmm, I have the sporty ab model girl body and I would trade my I-teeth to look less like a dude (yes, strong isn’t good with clothes on…you do look manly) and look more like the lingerie model. When it comes to looking good in clothes, skinny trumps strong every time. Good luck with this.
nice work cody!
This is a great article. I was an elite rower for many years, lifted heavy weights as part of my training, and while my arms were firm – they were never mannish. I have a tendency to put on upper body muscle quickly and while I have firmed up a lot since starting Crossfit – I haven’t bulked out. It pains me to hear women say they don’t want to lift heavy weights because they don’t want to look like a man. Where do they get these ideas from?
Thank you for demystifying what a healthy strong woman’s physique looks like.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. A million times: thank you! I have an affiliate in Houston and am constantly facing the issues you mentioned in this blog posting. If another person asks me “is this going to make me bulky?”, I might have to drop to my knees and weep. No, CrossFit won’t make you bulky. Yes, bbq Ruffles and a beer will. It’s as simple as that. I have posted this blog on my FB page as well as my website. Gracias!
It’s nice to read such a wide array of opinions from women about body image and the struggle to reconcile what many of us want our bodies to do (be strong, active, athletic) with what we may want our bodies to look like (um, models). Whenever I feel insecure about the size of my biceps (which sometimes look too, dare I say it, bulky…), I think about what my Crossfit coach said at one of my first classes–that the Crossfit program creates the athletic ideal of each person. And I think being an ideal (okay it’s cheesy) is pretty great. Never fails to make me feel a little bit stronger on the inside, where it’s most important anyway.
Great article, Cody, especially for young women!
As a friend of mine recently said…”Strong is the new Skinny.”
This article hits the nail right on the nose. I know what you mean by ‘skinny fat’ and I’ve always tried telling that to my friends who say “oh you’re slim, you don’t need to work out”. There is a huge difference between being fit & healthy to being slim & not in shape. I joined crossfit 2 months ago and it was the best thing I could have done! I LOVE lifting weights so that’s a no brainer but it has pushed my body beyond anything I thought I could do! I definitely am proud of my muscles that I’m building and so are my friends & family. I don’t care if I look ‘bulky’ to others, I don’t think I do, so who cares what they think. I wish more women would think this way!
Just wondering how this equates to a woman 40ish. I have been crossfitting for 9 months now. I see a huge difference in my muscle tone, but still am carrying a good bit of fat around my mid section and thighs.
What a great post. I was inspired by it and the pics of those amazing crossfit girls!! I use to be heavy, started lifting and got in great shape. I am now 7 1/2 months pregnant and have put on quite a few pounds. Unfortunately Ive had some complications so I’m practically on bed rest. I am at my heaviest weight ever but I look way better than when I was lighter prior to working out. I love the muscle I have developed!! People actually say all the time that I look like I haven’t put any weight on except for my belly. I feel it’s because I lifted and toned and tightened up!
Fantastic post. You explain clearly and patiently what I have tried to say so many times, but with less patience. Am bookmarking this!
This is a fantastic article! Thank you for writing it!!
@Marjorie… would need more info, but usually your case reflects a problem with lifestyle (lack of sleep/stress) and/or diet. For SOME people, fatigue based training/high intensity training is too much of a stressor on their body and negatively affects cortisol levels…which affects sleep, food cravings etc…. Try dialing back the intensity on the WODS for a couple of weeks and see if you notice a difference. We have seen great results at our gym by doing that with clients who have a similiar profile.
Women who carry extra fat on legs generally have higher than normal estrogen levels. There can be many reasons for that…..including diet (soy products should be avoided) , stress on adrenals, BPA’s,….. Not enough info to really give you an answer, but those are just some possibilities. Being that it sounds hormonal, keeping the stress down, eating clean and sleeping 8 hrs a night solves a lot of problems.
The past 3 years of my training, I have lost very little weight, but my body has gone through 3 major body transformations all because of muscle development. While at times as a “girl” I can feel a little bulky because my thighs completely fill out my jeans and my tops may be fitted because my back has broadened, the feeling of STRENGHTH usually outweighs the bulky. Do what you love, do what makes you feel good. TRAIN HARD GIRLS! Good article.
@Dave…Interesting. Lifestyle was my issue.
I will try to dial it back and see where takes me. I try to workout 4 times a week. I have not been eating clean. Somehow I have fallen of the train on that one. I felt great eating clean, not sure what trigged me to return to the bad eating habits. Need to get back to that. Sleeping has gotten better.
I did quite a bit of soy, but have stopped that. I think that was having a negative impact on my health, not for sure.
Thank you for this article. This has cleared up a lot of questions for me and makes me feel better about working out. I had a physical trainer that told me that weight lifting exercises would make me look more like a man and thus he didn’t want me doing them. Now I know he was full of it.
Love the article and the pics used for illustration. I’ve actually thought about adding crossfit to my fitness regime but non of the centers around here have childcare. I guess their clientele is comprised of mostly men
I love running but also love weight training and my ideal body is Laila Ali–so I don’t care what other people think about how bulky I look!!
Or you could just use loads that are 80-85% of your 1RM to hypertrophy your muscle and then create a moderate caloric deficit via aerobic exercise and a reduction of intake and use similar loads (4-6 reps) to near failure to maintain your muscle mass while dieting. This gives much better aesthetic results then random workouts that use loads that are not optimal to build or maintain muscle.
“So even though she may look fine wearing a sweater, it is a different story at the beach.”
Stopped reading. Thanks for including a picture of a woman who looks absolutely fine in a swimsuit and then insinuating that since she’s “skinny-fat,” no she actually doesn’t.
I disagree with the proposition cardio work outs will make a woman (or a man for that matter) “skinny fat”. I’m a bike commuter, a cyclist, and a surfer. I’m in pretty good shape. I know anecdotal evidence is weak, but I can’t help but notice all the female pedicab operators in downtown San Diego have the best butts. I’m pretty sure most of their money comes from drunk men who will gladly pay 15 dollars to stare at them and get a ride to the next bar. Those girls also attack hills like none-other and look amazing when they’re up and out of the saddle cranking away.
I like athletic looking women and weight training lends itself to a particular physique, but I like the natural female muscle development that comes from cycling, surfing (or swimming) or running. It’s hard to describe, but to me it’s the difference between a fake tan and the tan you get from jogging on the beach every morning.
Also – kudos for coining “skinny fat”. I’m going to start using it.
After reading these comments, I’m not sure you all saw the same pictures as I did. All of the “elite cross-fit” athletes in the photos do look very bulky. If you change the definition of the word bulky to mean fatty then, they are not bulky anymore now they look manly. To each her or his own. It really only matters to you, look like what you want to look like. It is ok if someone come up behind you and says “hey bro you want to get me a beer” then you turn around and they say “oh I’m sorry I did not know you were a chick”
P.S. it is going to take some time to change the definition of bulky to mean fatty. From now on in every gym in the USA when people say “I’m trying to bulk up” remember to tell them that now means get fat.
That was excellent information! Thank you for putting that out there.
Hey… love this post… if only I could get everyone I know to read it and take it in… i’m a member of Crossfit NI and absolutely loving it! Already seeing changes in my body after 3 months training… and i’ve been a member of standard gyms for years without seeing these type of results!! Thank you for posting this!!!
CrossFitters bashing running are as predictable as go players bashing chess. Why bother? Why not celebrate what you have, without needing to put down everyone else?
My recent experience of decreasing my running mileage for the first three months of CrossFit was that not only have my arms and shoulders grown, so have my belly and my cholesterol.
Different strokes for different folks. And that’s fine.
I enjoyed this article. I am not affiliated with CrossFit but I am a YMCA fitness instructor teaching Power Yoga, Kettlebells and Body Sculpt. It is a low down dirty shame how extremely UNEDUCATED people are about HEALTH. I tell my students all the time that physical health is a three legged stool: Cardiovascular Endurance, Physical Strength, and Flexibility/Balance. Without any one of those three pillars the stool will fall. There is WAY too much emphasis on being a certain weight or a certain dress size – as though either one of those things is a true indicator of health. My students ask me all the time, “How do I lose weight?” I always ask them a question back: “Do you want to lose weight or do you want to be healthy? Those things are not one and the same. Losing weight is one way to be healthier but so is building strength, endurance and flexibility.”
I think we also have to get away from a cookie-cutter mentality to Wellness. What works for one person may not work for another. In the end it has to be something you can stick with for the long term, something that brings you enjoyment and that has results. I have seen too many people practically kill themselves with insane exercise and drastic weight loss programs that are too expensive, time consuming and masochistic to maintain and within 6 mo or a year, they are back where they started: discouraged and heavier than ever. I will share your article with my students. It will lead to some great discussion!! Thank you!
“CrossFitters bashing running are as predictable as go players bashing chess. Why bother? Why not celebrate what you have, without needing to put down everyone else?”
To be fair, go is better than chess.
To say that you can’t become toned, healthy, and fit without lifting HEAVY weights is the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard in my life. To hear people actually agreeing is even more startling. Be healthy and look the way you want to. Guess what? No matter what this article implies, there isn’t only one way to do it.
I loved this! I just came across the term “skinny-fat” the other day in a fitness magazine I read and I had no idea what it meant and was worried that maybe I fell into that catagory! I was pleased by reading this that I don’t and your post made me feel very good about myself and how far I have come in my fitness goals! I am excited for the day when my kids are a little older and I too can join a cross fit in my area. My mom and brother go and they LOVE it! And who knew my mom could look so amazing in her 60′s! You guys have a great program!
awesome post
excellent post. I am sharing on my site!
This is such an awsome post – thanks so much for sharing!!
For anyone that thinks these girls look anything but great, I say do it and you will see that nothing is more awesome than feeling and looking strong. Even if you thought you wanted to look like the runway model I’m pretty sure having this kind of strength and health would quickly change your mind.
I just wanted to say that physiologically speaking it is possible to burn fat locally if you learn how to manipulate your hormones with training. Take a look at this post http://www.thesuperherobody.com/?p=572 where I show how you can lose weight locally.
THANK YOU for posting this. I’m going to share this with all my “skinny-fat” friends who are afraid to lift more than a 5lb dumb bell and consume more than 1000 calories a day….and wont come to crossfit with me in fear of 1. passing out and 2. looking like a man.
article’s on the right track, but should have left the science part out until you take an exercise phys course. find out what the actually meaning of “toned” or “toning” is….has nothing to do with what a muscle “looks” like. the body hardly EVER burns muscle…that was weird. muscle can atrophy, but rarely does the body use it (protein) as a fuel. and lastly, the whole “put more muscle on and you’ll burn more calories” is one of the biggest lines of BS the fitness industry has ever thrown to the general public. resting metobolic rate changes very minimally with the addition of muscle mass. the theory says 50 cals per pound of muscle. if i put on 10lbs of muscle, that’s 500 extra cals a day and 3500 cals per week (3500 cals = 1lb of fat). to think that someone could put on 10lbs of muscle and do nothing else and burn a lb of fat each week is pretty naive. just think what happens when these numbers are doubled or tripled! sorry, i’m calling BS. strength training has many perks, but this is not one of them. you are absolutely correct in saying you can’t spot reduce fat areas, regardless of what juan’s super hero body website claims. best way to burn cals…..high intensity work. enough said.
Hey Jay, interestingly enough, I actually agree with everything you said. However, there are some things that I think you missed:
1. If someone walks into the gym wanting to get more “toned”, I am not going to tell them that they already have a good amount of elasticity in their muscles. This is the chasm between exercise phys. and the general public, almost all of the population has a different definition of “toned” outside the sciences. Thus, I used “toned” in quotes throughout the article to imply that I was using the general population’s definition of “toned”, just like I would explain it to someone that walked off the street and into the gym.
2. Absolutely correct, muscle can never be “burned”. Again, you must remember the audience, as explaining catabolic states and muscle atrophy is a bit tough in a simple blog post, although I think you are right, I might need to adjust that sentence.
3. By increasing lean body mass, you will increase your basal metabolic rate, thus muscle will effectively burn more calories, although I think 50 kcal/day is the biggest number I have ever seen. I try to stick with the Katch-McCardle equation (Katch, Frank, Katch, Victor, McArdle, William. Exercise Physiology: Energy, Nutrition, and Human Performance, 4th edition. Williams & Wilkins, 1996), resulting in 10-15 kcal/day/pound of lean body mass. Thus, 10 lbs is 100-150 kcal/day, a little more reasonable and accurate, wouldn’t you say?? This also doesn’t mean you burn 100-150 kcal of fat a day, only that your body requires that many more calories to avoid going into a catabolic state.
LOVE IT!! having been both of of the photos – i know which one i choose!! great article
Cody, fair enough. I like the Katch-McCardle reference. Yes, that seems like it would be way more accurate. And beings that it is so miniscule, I’d not use it in an approach to get someone onboard with why strength training is so valuable. Last thing you want is some wiseguy/girl who thinks because their BMR has increased they can indulge more at the dinner table. Though they would need the extra calories to stay anabolic, we all know the typical weekend warrior doesn’t count calories. Hell, I don’t even count cals…but then again, I try to beast out during every training session. An old Exercise Phys prof of mine used to say he ate whatever he wanted because he killed it during training sessions 6-7 days a week. It’s Unfortunately, our layman way of explaining the human body to the average person in the gym can be counterproductive at times. Good talk! Train like an animal!
Read this ladies.
I am about to have my first three for free session tommorrow night, this article replaced my “i’m not so sure i want to do all this work, i may not have time, actually i’m just reallly freakin scared to fail” attitude with, hey I am scared, but now I’m excited again. Thanks!!